A Head

A man is waiting for wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him.

Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out!

The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender still shakes his head in dismay.

Swoooop! Two arms pops out. The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, "Take another drink"! The bartender ignores the whole affair. By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out.

The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left.... then to the right.... right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly.

The bar falls silent. The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says, "That boy should have quit while he was a head."

Lily

I tried to take a snap of a lovely orange lily(?) growing wild
in my front garden this afternoon, but it was horribly over-exposed.
However, with a little extra added oomph  it looks quite fun.

New Definitions

Here are some updated dictionary definitions which I've totally shamelessly stolen from those fine people at I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue.

whisp                                     a really pathetic wasp


childhood                              a very young gangster


haphazard                            mind that hap!


deliberate                             to imprison


livery                                      rather like liver


coincidental                         having matching teeth


heathrow                              what a baggage handler does


luton airport                         slightly more detailed description of what
                                                          a baggage  handler does

donation                              where Homer Simpson is king


damnation                           Holland


lamination                           New Zealand


extort                                    having left school


abatement                           downstairs storage area used by a man
                                                      with sinus troubles

harpist                                  laughing drunk


teutonic                                what you order with two gins


shoe horn                             a fetish


wristwatch                           all night vigil in a catholic boarding
                                                            school

disdain                                 contempt for someone from Copenhagen





    Ththththat's all folks!